Introductory post : Starting out

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To: Brad Blackstone

From: Nicholas Tan
Date: 9 September 2018
Subject: Starting out

Dear Professor Brad,

Given this amazing opportunity to be part of your T6 class effective communication, I would love to finally take this opportunity to formally introduce myself. My name is Nicholas Tan and am currently pursuing a degree in sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services) programme offered by SIT. Prior to my journey thus far, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a degree in environmental and water technology.

In my teenage years, what took my interest other than the usual sports and video games, were environmental issues and concerns the world was facing. It was during my course selection for my diploma that I decide to take a less generic route and to pursue studies in an environmental related field. During my course of study in my polytechnic, my interest was further nurtured by joining an environmental awareness club. A few notable events I took part in was the organizing of Earth Day events and raising the awareness of the poaching of sharks for their fins as a delicacy. I believe it was  my interest in the sustainable environment field that has brought me to this programme.

I believe my strong command of the English language is one of my strengths. On top of being an avid reader since young, I was even selected to represent my school in essay writing competition. English is also used in everyday conversation with both my family and friends. On the other hand, I find myself struggling during situations where I am required to do presentation. Ranging from project presentation to job interviews, I seem to always feel extra tense and uneasy. I believe this affects my confidence and composure in public speaking settings.  

The goals that I set for myself when I complete this module would be to develop better presentation and public speaking skills. I hope to one day be able to both inspire and influence the peers around me. Finally, I leave you with a quote that signifies my philosophy about the art and science of communication,  “The art of communication is the language of leadership.”

Best Regards,
Nicholas Tan

Edited: 3 December 2018
Blogs I have commented on:
Teng, Pin Feng, Wendy

Comments

  1. Brad Blackstone9 September 2018 at 20:31

    Thanks, Nicholas, for posting your letter. I'll comment after some of your peers have done that, but I want to express my appreciattion for you being one of the first students to do this assignment!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ethenity12 September 2018 at 08:17

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wendy Sun Yiwen20 September 2018 at 01:30

    Hi Nicholas,
    Thank you for this informative letter focusing on your hobbies and interest. I enjoyed reading about your letter. It is rate meeting someone from another polytechnic in the same diploma course. I am thankful we are in the same summary writing group. You are very kind and helpful classmate and friend.
    With only a few areas need to take note of, hope you find them useful.

    Content: 7/10
    -You explain very detailed about your interest and the reasons for you to join the building services program.

    Organisation: 8/10
    -Well organization of the paragraphs.
    -You may consider to clearly indicate the weakness and strength in your letter.

    Language: 7/10
    -Please be careful and check for word used, eg: I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a （degree） diploma in Environmental and Water Technology.
    -Overuse of capitalization, eg: diploma in environmental and water technology.
    -You may want to use full stop to shorter the sentences to increase readability of your letter.

    Overall: 22/30

    I really appreciate your sharing, let’s work together to achieve our goals for this module.

    Regards,
    Wendy Sun

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ethenity20 September 2018 at 08:29

    Dear Nicholas,

    It is a nice introduction letter that your have wrote. Truly appreciated and I found myself knowing more about your background, interest and goal. I would like to give some suggestion through my opinion and hope it would be helpful to you.

    Content - 9/10
    Sufficient information and good flow.
    Organisation - 8/10
    It is well organised. Long sentences with commas could replace with full stop.
    Language - 8/10
    Good use of vocabularies. A few grammatical errors that needs to be corrected.

    Overall Good writing ! 23/10 ! I hope you did read my letter. Feel free to give any suggestion you would like to provide and help us to improve our writings together. Thank you.

    Yours sincerely,
    Ethen Siew

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brad Blackstone22 September 2018 at 23:36

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brad Blackstone22 September 2018 at 23:37

    Dear Nicholas,

    Thank you for this informative letter. I've enjoyed learning about your various interests, including your passion for the environment and appreciation for the English language. Since you've been involved in essay writing competitions, then you know that mastering the art of writing is no small feat, and it often includes revision after revision. In this letter you have presented your ideas clearly and concisely, but there are some language areas to revisit:

    1. sentence structure
    -- It was during my course selection for my diploma did I decide to take ... >>> It was during my course selection for my diploma that I decided to take...
    -- During my course of study in my polytechnic, my interest was further nurtured by joining an environmental awareness club, a few notable events I took part in were organizing of Earth Day events and raising the awareness of the poaching of sharks for their fins as a delicacy.
    >>> (comma splice) ?
    -- I have represented my school in essay writing competitions and using the language in everyday conversation with both my family and friends. >>> (two ideas are being expresed here, but they are joined in an odd, grammtically incorrect way)
    -- Ranging from project presentation to job interviews, I seem to always feel extra tense and uneasy, I believe this affects ... >>> (comma splice) ?

    These are not major problems; some consideration for what makes for an effective sentence and a quick rewrite are all that's in order.

    To end I want to add that the quote above is especially relevant as you embark on your studies at SIT. I look forward to working with you through this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown24 September 2018 at 09:46

    Dear Professor Blackstone,

    Thank you for your sincere comments.

    The pleasure is mine as well!

    Best regards,
    Nicholas

    ReplyDelete

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